My first taste of Junior Football was a welcome and comforting one. An experience from which I took many things including the cold.
I had a shortlist of 3 teams that I would trial: Clydebank, Kirky Rob Roy and Petershill. The fixture list for Saturday 26th March 2011 had only Clydebank FC at home, the other two had drawn away games and it was a bit early to be joining the supporters' bus. So only the one game available to me but what a prospect: Central Division Cup 2nd Round tie: Clydebank FC v Yoker Athletic FC. The Holm Park derby, tenants v landlords. Think AC Milan v Internazionale at the San Siro, think Bayern v TSV 1860 Munich at the Allianz Arena, think Scotland v Queens Park at Hampden.
Yoker play in the West Region Central Division 2 at the moment - two divisions below Clydebank but this game was far from a foregone conclusion. The Paper Hankies' record at Holm Park against Yoker made grim reading: W 0; D 2; L 5. The rivalry would make this a tasty starter to my juniors journey.
I took Scotrail's finest from the East End straight to Yoker. Like a low-rent Orient Express I was seeing with my own eyes exotic locations that had previously only existed in my imagination and on the Springburn-Dalmuir timetable. I sat pie-eyed at Partick, gobsmacked at Garscadden, all the time wondering who or what Nico was and how effective an advertising campaign focused on railway bridges could be. The Scotrail Siren called "Next stop Yoker" and awoke me from my wonderment. I was nearly there.
Arriving at Yoker Station, I looked at the print-out from Google Maps that I'd studied earlier. I know there were two routes to Holm Park - 1. the longer way to follow street down to the main Glasgow Road, turn right for a bit with the park on the left or 2. take the shorter, diagonal route straight to the ground. A no-brainer for a lazy get like me or at least that's what I thought on the train but now the reality was facing me. That diagonal short cut was a path through two massive high rises with a group of hard-looking toddlers already eyeing me up for my change and trainers. Long way round it is then.
The ground wasn't hard to find - someone had handily put a huge "Holm Park" sign on the wall - and more surprisingly it wasn't as run down as suggested by the photos I'd seen. I paid in (£5), bought a programme (£1), and was given a leaflet about the United Clydebank Supporters (UCS) Football Trust. All in all I was given a very warm, friendly welcome.
You enter Holm Park behind one of the goals which on this occasion was being used by Yoker for shooting practice. I quickly realised the risk of being skelped by a wayward strike was dangerously high. Time to escape to the safety of the touchline beside the stand (rain was threatening). The only problem was I couldn't see a way over as the pavilion was in the way with a small, gated fence blocking the path. Buoyed by the pleasant greeting I'd received, I asked a guy how to get over to the side. he looked at me as if I was a clown (fair enough) and said bitterly: "Ye go that way when its the Yoker but cos its Clydebank ye'll huv to walk roond there", pointing to the back of the pavilion. I thanked him and left before he'd a chance to highlight any other injustices.
I took my place on the sidelines beside other Bankies fans. I'd say the crowd was a good size, a few hundred on both sides - maybe a few hundred more in the warmth of the social club. Did I mention how cold it was?
The banter before kick off was nice and friendly. Lots of groups of folk who'd obviously known each other for years. Although I did notice a couple of guys who talked non-stop from the moment I arrived, all through the game and were still going as I left.
The game was about to kick-off when something alarming caught my eye. I was standing with my back to the Clyde facing northish when I looked up to see heading straight for us was a jumbo jet. I quickly scanned left and right to see if anyone else had noticed or was bothered about our impending doom. It was like the film, Invictus, on the opening game of Mandela's rugby world cup when the plane is heading for the stadium and the panic that ensues in the security team while the crowd are oblivious. (not that many people have seen it. It's probably a poor reference) Just as the film the plane didn't dive into us but soared on although this one didn't have "C'mon the Bankies" written on it. And so it was that every 15 minutes or so a plane would fly over Holm Park headed for Glasgow International Airport in Paisley. Ideal for any plane spotter fitba fans out there.
So to the game itself. The first half started with a lot of passion and commitment and long balls from the goalkeepers. After years of watching top level games on the telly I'd forgotten what a goalie kicking from his hands looked like although my neck twinges remind me what it's like to header one. It was a half of few changes but a couple of players did stand out - Darian MacKinnon (No. 9) and Ross Campbell (No. 5) both of Clydebank. The first clear cut chance came from a cutting dribble from MacKinnon. He cut inside from the right wing, jinked past a couple of Yoker lads into the box and just as the defence parted like Moses' wave opening up for a deserved shot on goal, the big No. 9 laid it off to oncoming midfielder who was crowded out and the chance was wasted. The best chance of the half came from a Clydebank free kick on the left. A good cross in found the defender, Campbell, who's powerful header rattled the cross bar, rebounded down towards striker Mark Hailstones (No. 11) a few yards out of a clear goal. Unfortunately the bounce took the ball up high sharply and the Paper's striker isn't the tallest neither. He did well to get his head on it but was only able to loop it over the bar for a bye-kick.
0 - 0 at half time.
Why is it that once the distraction of the game ends you suddenly become aware of how freezing cold it is? Thankfully Holm Park has a burger van in the ground so I was able to grab a coffee at half-time. I wouldn't say it was Miss Cranston's Tea Room (you add and stir sugar and milk using a shared spoon dipped in a cup of water to clean it) but it was a damn tasty cup of coffee. the only down side was i spilt it over my feet but that's hardly their fault. Nope, it was the fault of the gents toilet which at first glance appeared to be an outer wall to cover your dignity while you pish against the wall of the pavilion. I was thankful it was only coffee on my trainers.
Back to my spot on the terracing - for I'd claimed it now - I was reminded of a vivid childhood memory. I had completely forgotten that at half time the pitch is overrun by kids for a game of heider-volley in both goals. Wonderful! Although I thought it was a bit snidey of the Yoker subs who had restarted their shooting practice. The kids were fine but the food van was under siege again.
Half time also gave me chance to read the match programme although not to the end as it was massive. It was packed with loads of great stuff including the managers thoughts from Budgie McGhie, player stats for the season and everything you'd expect from a seniors programme. Obviously a lot of effort goes into creating it and the club should be proud of it. It also kept me entertained for my journey home. Great value for a quid.
The second half was very much like the first with neither team dominating. The biggest issue was possession - neither team kept the ball for very long and this was because there was no perceptible central midfield. For most of the game it seemed like two bands of defence/attack on the pitch. Clydebank were lined up in a 4-3-1-2 formation but the gap between the central midfielder and the central attacker was too great. the Bankies were forced to sub midfielder Kevin Murray (no. 8) after only 8 minutes and his replacement, Tommy Martin, did not return after the break - both due to injury. This probably had an effect on Clydebank's game strategy.
The game sorely needed a goal and it came Clydebank's way albeit against the run of play. Yoker had a spell of play putting pressure on Clydebank but some fine dribbling down the left hand side by MacKinnon saw him evade challenges to hit the bye-line just inside the box. He turned the next defender inside before laying off a great ball to Stevie Dymock (No. 10). The Clydebank striker sold the onrushing Yoker defense a cracker of a dummy before rifling a low shot into the opposite, left hand corner of the net. A beautifully worked and finished goal.
After the opener the Paper Hankies created more chances with their left back, Paul McMenamin (No. 3) looking dangerous all game with some cracking crosses. However the Wee-ho manager, John Brogan, made some changes with Craig Winslow coming on after 67 minutes. It only took him a minute to make an impact. Some good Yoker movement down the right led to No.8 Richard Smith controlling the ball well on the edge of the box before releasing Winslow with a lovely, inviting pass. Without hesitation the No.12 drilled it home, high past the goalie. A fine equaliser followed by a rubbish celebration.
The final 30 minutes featured a few chances for Clydebank to get back in front as they had all the pressure although Yoker could have won it near the end were it not for a smart save from the impressive Liam Campbell.
1 - 1 at full time.
Fearing that I'd miss the end of the game in order to get the train home (my sister was coming over for tea) I was surprised there was no extra time played but it went straight to penalties. The first three spot kicks were put away well - Clydebank 2 - 1 Yoker - and next up was Yoker's No.2, Gary Vickers. He placed the ball on the spot, went to assume position for his run up as the ball rolled back into a hole. He tried to replace it but the ball kept rolling into the divot. As the crowd noise grew, so too did the pressure on the right back who eventually gave up. He started his run up with barely the top of the ball visible and unsuprisingly his shot wasn't the best although Campbell still had to save it which he did well. I remember the same thing happened to me playing boys football - only my shot bounced twice before looping over the keeper's head. i had the temerity not to celebrate other than with a single fist pump.
Campbell did well to save Yoker's next spot kick while Clydebank went on to score their next to two to win 4-1.
On the whole it was a fair result. Clydebank deserved to win the game but Yoker didn't deserve a hiding neither. the Wee-ho can argue that they're still unbeaten in 90 minutes at Holm Park by their rivals.
Happy at being back to the fitba I headed back to the station for the train. I must have been giddy with the excitement or the cold but I decided to take the short cut through the tower blocks. High life living indeed - what I thought was brown wooden panelling was actually doors into the blocks. I made it unscathed but all the while I felt I was being watched like Escape From New York. I was probably saved by the coffee stains.
On the train back I sat in the same carriage as a fast asleep jakey. The conductor was a young girl who walked in shouting "Wakey, Wakey!". Apparently the boy had got on at Springburn, been all the way to Dalmuir and was now on his way back to point A. Apparently the conductor wasn't allowed to touch him and I didn't want to neither. He finally woke up at Duke Street station but wanted to be in Garscadden. I wonder if he made it.
Next game for me:
Kirkintilloch Rob Roy v Irvine Meadow (The Medda)
Oops, scrap that. The missus invited our friends round for lunch with their baby girl. Next game will be The Rabs v Pollok instead.
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